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1. |
Twelve Step Sentence
08:21
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Won’t sustain
Feel no pain, just for a little while
I’ll keep it a secret for as long as I can
I’m so tired
Just a shadow of myself
The less I want
The more I need (just a little more)
Walking the tightrope across the fault line
Fail to see the demons wrestling with me
Keeping up appearances, I’m crumbling like the tenement buildings I’m parked between on the rain soaked streets in industrial estates, waiting for the man.
Make the call, “Yeah five minutes mate” more like two hours, beating of the rain marks every second deafening inside my head hammering every minute on the windshield
Knock on the drivers window, shit eating grin spouting some old nonsense story about “Sorry I was late because of business, anyway duty calls” and off again, just as quickly as he came.
Whatever, scored now, hands trembling, as the matches flame gutters, as I peer to see the works between my knees in the iridescent glow of the light shining on the dashboard
Climb the crooked stair
Stone around my neck
Given enough rope to hang myself
Bury me in sand
A mile from the shore
So shallow I can feel the rain
Climb the crooked stair
Stone around my neck
Given enough rope to hang myself
Bury me in sand
A mile from the shore
So shallow I can feel the rain
Evidence
Wash away (don’t leave any trace)
I know I can beat it but I need your help
So ashamed, every promise that I break
The lies spill off my tongue and you swallow them down, roll over for my pantomime, “haven’t eaten for days, can’t pay the rent” I’m very good at pulling on your heart strings
The heart strings connected to your purse strings, I don’t want your sympathy, just want your cold hard currency, cold hard cash for stone, this horse I’m riding is a dead cert for the glue factory
Crumbling like the gravestones in the cemetery, I’m kidding that’s enough of the gallows humour before I obtain enough rope to send me to the mortuary
The door slams shut and the needle slides in, up to my neck, if you don’t like the reflection, don’t look in the mirror, my hands are shaking, body’s aching, mind is screaming mind is screaming mind is screaming!
Climb the crooked stair
Stone around my neck
Given enough rope to hang myself
Bury me in sand
A mile from the shore
So shallow I can feel the rain
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2. |
Terminal
08:25
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Memory
Piece together how this came to be
Won’t unfold
I’m struggling to retain control
Scribbling,
From the corner of the room
Dulls my sense
Numbness spreading through my limbs
Hands bound
Feet tied
Can’t hear
Can’t see
Way out
Can’t find
Someone
Save me
It’s terminal I’m rendered obsolete,
Trapped inside a waking dream
Do I try to run or admit defeat,
Turn the tables on my enemy
Polaroids,
Random papers document my stay
Have no fear,
He’s the means to make you disappear
Hands bound
Feet tied
Can’t hear
Can’t see
It’s terminal I’m rendered obsolete,
Trapped inside a waking dream
Do I try to run or admit defeat,
Turn the tables on my enemy
Came from behind
Out of the darkness
Got the jump on me
Knocked out
Rendered unconscious I was unsuspecting
Tied to a bed
Rid me of sight rid me of hearing
Place hand on mouth if you wish to speak
Sharp bite of piano wire
700,000 volts
Tries to make me yield in mute conformity
I’m never changing litmus
Reduced to a memento
Aghast at my incarceration
I’m not your toy, I’m not your fucking plaything
Rage, fill this empty vessel with the strength to survive
Bite on the pain, focus the mind, every knotted sinew
I must channel my energy,
I must channel my energy
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3. |
Long Haul
06:14
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“Run” He said, his eyes were black, with a reptile smile.
She plunged into the darkness.
“Live or die?” He said, “make your choice”
She bolted
The blood is in the water.
Fringes of society,
Sharks begin circling.
Craigslist ad, burner phone. Cash transactions.
Calls her tricks on CB radio.
Forced to hit the streets again.
She’s rattling, as the chemical noose gets tighter.
Fringes of society,
Sharks begin circling
We’re everywhere
We could leave you anywhere
Like the blood in the water
The sharks begin circling
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4. |
The Flood
08:24
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It's here
End of days
From the sky
Reckoning
Set,
Sail,
Yells the Quartermaster
All,
Hands
The sky is falling,
sky is falling
No more
End of man
Tempest comes
Wash away
Row
Row
Yells the quartermaster
Row
Row
The seas are boiling,
seas are boiling
Cumulonimbus swell, circle in the sky
Lightning bolts crash the ground
Lashing altitude
Mariana trench opens, swallows everything
Typhoons and tidal waves wash it all away
Sky explodes, torrential purge from above
Tornados swirling sweeping all aside
Rain like bullets strike your face
Rebound and ricochet
Mother Nature delivers her reckoning
Clouds of sulphur Acid rain burning plants and trees Human race eradicated from the earth Meteors obliterate all that's in their path Land is raised to the ground in the aftershock
Lightning bolts!
Lightning bolts!
Lightning bolts!
Lightning bolts!
Mast splits
Set adrift
Sails rip
Abandon ship
Hold,
Fast,
Yells the Quartermaster
Hold,
Fast
The ship is sinking,
ship is sinking
Here comes the rain again,
Wash it away again,
Wipe the slate clean
Cumulonimbus swell circle in the sky
Lightning bolts crack the sky
Lashing altitude
Mariana trench opens, swallows everything
Typhoons and tidal waves wash it all away
Sky explodes, torrential purge from above
Tornados swirling sweeping all aside
Rain like bullets strike your face
Rebound and ricochet
Mother Nature delivers her reckoning
Clouds of sulphur Acid rain burning plants and trees Human race eradicated from the earth Meteors obliterate all that's in their path Land is raised to the ground in the aftershock
Lightning bolts!
Lightning bolts!
Lightning bolts!
Lightning bolts!
Hulls breached
Drawing water faster
Heading, straight into disaster
Its Lost
The ship is lost
The maelstrom is descending faster
The shipmates faces turn to alabaster
It’s lost
The ship is lost
It’s lost
The ship is lost
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5. |
King Fool
09:26
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There you stand
Rock in hand
Charging around with your sense of entitlement
Furrowed brow
Beaten down
Inarticulately mumbling
Bit by bit
Your mask slips
Lose your grip
Underhand
By your own hand
We see the horror that lays beneath
Like the blind
leading the blind
Charging about like a bull in a china shop
Sticks and stones
Break your bones
Bombs do the job much more easily
Rhetoric
Veiled threats
Tomahawks used to seem well endowed
Watching the world burn down
King Fool wins again
Watching the world burn down
King Fool wins again
You’re warming your hands in the pyre
Of nations gone up in fire
Watching the world burn down
Watching the world burn down
Watching the world burn down
King Fool wins again
Watching the world burn down
King Fool wins again
You’re warming your hands in the pyre
Of nations gone up in fire
Watching the world burn down
Watching the world burn down
You can’t hide
Foolish pride
Do more to bite your thumb at your adversary
Intimidate
Nauseate
Contemptuous scathing lack of humility
Take the risk
Ballistic
Anticipatory hovering poised fingers
Truculent
Disrespect
Reckless endangerment of the world's populous
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6. |
Lavender
07:50
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Oh the first time that he saw her his heart stood still,
On banks where wild lavender grows.
She was dancing by the shore on a summer’s day,
In the shade of the weeping willow.
She glanced in his direction, caught his eye and then she looked away.
Now every time he closed his eyes
He sees her face, and the scent still lingers
For days he hid there waiting to watch me dance
On banks where wild lavender grows
Hidden ‘tween the boughs of the willow tree
On the edge of the summer meadow
I glanced in his direction, caught his eye and then I looked away
Now every time I close my eyes,
I see his face, and the scent still lingers
Oh lavender, lavender, lavender,
Brings me closer to her please linger lavender
Oh lavender, lavender, lavender
Brings me closer to her please linger, lavender
Brings me closer my dear please linger
He searched the glade for hours when she was gone,
On banks where wild lavender grows
To find a rose to bring her to declare his love
On the edge of the summer meadow
Away from me, away, you foolish boy
You will never ever have my heart
I’m betrothed to another from far away
Together we shall never be apart
Ignominious and ridiculed he stared dumbstruck at the floor
She turned away and laughed at him and he’d ensure she laughed at him no more
The rock was in his hand and he did what cannot be undone
I fell into the water, and the dark red flowers blossomed
Can’t escape the scent of
Wild lavender, lavender, lavender,
Blood ran through his fingers, deep ochre, don’t linger
Don’t remind him of her, don’t linger pure torture
Brings him closer to her lavender, lavender
Brings him closer to her, don’t linger
Brings him closer to her, lavender
Meet you by the waters edge
Be with me forever
If I can’t have you no one will
Sleep beneath the willow tree
Meet you by the waters edge
I’ll haunt you forever
Because you took my life from me
Sleep beneath the willow tree
Meet you by the waters edge
Be with me forever
If I can’t have you no one will
Sleep beneath the willow tree
Meet you by the waters edge
I’ll haunt you forever
Because you took my life from me
Sleep beneath the willow tree
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7. |
Swan Dive
06:25
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Ascend
Stratosphere
Silent mind
Although my eyes are closed I see for miles
All directions
Transcendental
Total detachment from self
Like the waves crash on the shore beat on the land forever more
I will swan dive from the edge into the void below
On the precipice I stand, over seas of shifting sand
I will swan dive from the edge into the void below
Like the seas relentless tide
Let this moment be your guide
I will swan dive from the edge into the void below
Rid your senses of your fear, then the purpose becomes clear
Reality is just an illusion
I close my eyes and see for miles
Swan dive from the edge
I close my eyes and see for miles
See for miles
Ascend
All is clear
In my mind
Although my eyes are closed I see for miles
In the now
So defined
Feel the wave wash over me
Like the waves crash on the shore beat on the land forever more
I will swan dive from the edge into the void below
On the precipice I stand, over seas of shifting sand
I will swan dive from the edge into the void below
Like the seas relentless tide
Let this moment be your guide
I will swan dive from the edge into the void below
Rid your senses of your fear, then the purpose becomes clear
Reality is just an illusion
I close my eyes and see for miles
Swan dive from the edge
I close my eyes and see for miles
See for miles
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The Oculist London, UK
The Oculist has been formed by two long time musical collaborators and friends Adam Dunn and Çağrı Tozluoğlu (aka Philamelian).
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